INTERVIEWS WITH THE FAMILIES WHO ADOPTED THROUGH SRC

Pupchek's adoption story       Fillmon's adoption story

Artur's parent interview

Prior to adoption, our family consisted of 5, Dad (Rich), Mom (Teresa), Dallas (13), Lydia (10) and Haley (9). Rich works for J.C. Penney in Loss Prevention, and Teresa has a home business. We have been involved in ministry work for the past 13 years, and presently support 9 missionaries in 8 different countries, with a clothing ministry. The clothing goes to missionaries, towns-people, and orphans.

Why did you chouse international adoption? 

We always wanted another child, but I really was not up to having another 'baby'. I had done the diaper thing/up all night, and all that, and I really wanted an older child, past this stage. We always wanted to adopt, but domestic adoption really wasn't interesting to us, as there are many opportunities available to orphans in the U.S., although being an orphan is not good in any case. The reason for any mission work is to bring God's word to 'lost' people, and the reason for us to adopt internationally was not only to observe the great commission (Matt. 28:18), and obey James 1:28, but to bring an orphaned child into our home to love and raise up in the Lord. This child, as many children, would never have the opportunity to hear and obey God's word, unless we adopted them.

What led you to adopt, and particularly in Ukraine?

Although Albania was our first choice, since we have actively been supporting 2 orphanages there since 1997, they are "closed" to U.S. adoptions. (Just recently they have "opened" back up.)  Additionally, since we had been helping an orphanage in Ukraine, we decided to try that direction. Reviewing our web page will tell you more about how we chose Ukraine.

How did you decide which child was for you?

Though I had been to Ukraine to visit an orphanage on a mission trip, and saw many children, there were a few that really captured our heart. In the months prior to our trip abroad, we fervently prayed about our soon to be child. Praying that God would: prepare him for leaving the place (and caregivers) he thought of as 'home', prepare him for the long journey to his new home, prepare us as parents for the huge adjustment it was going to be, prepare our 3 bio. children for the adjustments, for safe travel while in Ukraine, and probably lastly (though I'm sure there were other things....) that God would make it abundantly clear to us WHO our new son would be.

Of course, our trip had it's ups and downs, but God was with us the whole way. Opening and closing doors when necessary. When we finally made it to the orphanage, I did one thing that may help people adopting in the future, I asked to see the children in their environment/classroom. (out side playing wasn't an option, as it was about 30 degrees outside). Anyway, to avoid having to see each child individually (I wanted to see the children interacting with each other and not be singled out), and choosing one and not another, I arranged it with the director that when we went into the classroom that the available children for adoption, she touch on the head. She was so kind, and understood completely what I was doing, and she so graciously did as I asked, and I was able to identify the children I had to choose from. Four children had been identified, and I waited for the 5th, when out of the bathroom came a group of children, and one child just 'beamed.' I thought, 'oh, what a beautiful smile, and HAPPY eyes' he has. And just then the director placed her hand on HIS head. My heart leaped, and I didn't have a second thought. I knew he was the child that we had been praying for, and yes, God placed him in my heart and then in our family. And though we certainly have had our ups and downs, he STILL has a beautiful smile and HAPPY eyes!

What was the highlight of you trip?

Probably the highlight would have been when I looked at our son, and with his eyes so 'bright' I knew he was the 'one'!

What surprised you the most?

Though I had traveled to Ukraine before, I am always amazed at the wonderful people. The people are so great and friendly. Many times I would be on the 'metro' with Artur, and someone would insist on me taking their seat. Our host family in Mariupol was wonderful, gracious, and extremely accommodating.

How was your adjustment to Artur?

I truly believe that Artur is a great kid, and has a great disposition because of his personality. Additionally, our great facilitator made the transition smoother.  Before leaving the orphanage, I asked our facilitator to take him aside and explain about us leaving, and that he would not be back (at least any time soon, we are returning, but not for a while). Our great facilitator, took our son in his lap, telling him that he wasn't coming back to the orphanage when we left, and that it may be a long time until he saw these people, and his friends, again. He also asked him, if he wanted to go with us and if he understood what he was telling him. He said 'yes' to both.

Upon leaving for Warsaw, our great facilitator again took our son aside, telling him about the plane ride, and that he would soon see his Papa, brother and sisters.  They hugged many times, and parted forever friends! I truly believe that our facilitator explaining to our son what was happening about him leaving, etc. was essential to our successful adoption and 'leaving' the orphanage without problems......When we finally arrived in the U.S. and Artur did understand that he was finally going to see his Papa, brother and sisters, he ran up the plane extender right into my husbands arms, yelling 'Papa, Papa!' Artur has adjusted fine, and continues to bond well with our whole family.

What advice would you give to adoptive parents?

First and foremost, pray about it, and only proceed if you truly believe that it is His will.......then:

1. Don't let the paperwork overwhelm you, it really isn't all that hard, and with SENSE providing the forms, it is basically you getting them filled out.
2.  Ask questions, but remember EVERY person has a different experience, and their expectations are never the same as yours. If you read something that 'sounds too good to be true,' it probably is, and someone is not being honest with you about adoption. Yes, a person can have a great experience, and we thoroughly enjoyed so much about the trip, but we had 'snags' and most people do.
3. If you are seriously considering adopting an older child (like 3 to 4 and up), learn a little Russian, and have a translator available when you return home.
4. Learn to cook a few common foods, kasha, borscht, some things that the children are familiar with. Introducing too many new foods (though the child will want them), too much too soon could be a problem.
5. Work with your facilitator, ask questions, but know that they are experienced and 'know' what they are doing, or they will find out what to do if there is a problem.
6. Be prepared to pay expedition fees.
7. Bring gifts for people who help you along the way; if not, be prepared to buy things there, but you may not find the quality in Ukraine as you will in the U.S.
8. Ask the orphanage about how they discipline your child, for their schedule (eating, napping, bedtime, etc.). Being consistent will make the transition much easier.
9. Be flexible and patient over cultural differences.
10. If your child is older, have your facilitator explain to your child (in Russian) what is happening to him/her; you only imagine that the child is confused.
11. We knew we would be adopting an older child, thus we took a 'kid' backpack with little toys, crayons, paper, books, etc., for the many trips, especially the long one home.
12. Love and hug your child, but do not smother them, they need to get used to you, and too much can be overwhelming to them. Remember they are not accustomed to having someone hugging them much.

Marisa and Julian's parents interview

1. How did you know which child was for you?

We had prayed and asked friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, & church members all to pray that we would know our children when we met them. God definitely answered because we were independently convicted about it at the same time. When they first laid eyes on us, both Marisa and Julian took one look at us and screamed in terror. I knew we weren't that good-looking, but we didn't normally cause hysterical fits either. It did seem to be a logical emotional reaction to meeting oddly dressed foreigners who might be your new parents and take you far away to an unimaginable place. Those two screaming little kids are currently laughing and playing with flash cards while I (try to) type this.

2. What would you recommend to pack?

Diane's suggestions are great. Here are some more! Cheap 35mm cameras & film (8$ at Wal-mart), Notebooks & pens, ball caps and American T shirts, stickers for kids, vitamins for adults. Most of our luggage contained gifts. We also gave away our camera (cheap), strollers, prescription and over-the-counter medicines, and all kinds of food. Take food that requires little preparation. We enjoyed Vienna sausages, crackers, peanut butter, raisins, coffee singles, ramen noodles and mixes that required only hot water. Power bars are good for energy if you can stand the taste. The kids loved everything we gave them. The flashlight was indispensable. It's nice to have one that is easy to find in your bag in the dark and is easily turned off and on. Strollers make life much easier. It's good to take children's medicine for your kids in addition to whatever you take for the children's home. I'd recommend a decongestant, an antihistamine, buprofen, antibiotic ointment, an ointment for itching or skin problems, Vaseline, and fun Band-Aids. And don't forget vitamins. Miscellaneous household items came in very useful: clothespins, clothesline, zip lock baggies, trash bags (used for toilet covers), soap, antibacterial hand sanitizer, a handful of cheap latex gloves which doubled as balloons for the kids, disinfectant, dishwashing liquid, sippy cups, and a Swiss army knife. We bought a water purifier and a hot pot in Ukraine and those two items seemed like real luxuries. I guess you could take these things with you, but it seemed easier to buy the hot pot in Ukraine. It boiled water very quickly.

3. Adjustment to the child/ren while traveling, and back home

Pray, pray, pray, and remind those who care about you not to stop once they hear that you have adopted successfully. Continue forever. Cultivate patience and a sense of humor. Maintain an attitude of thankfulness. Sleep every time you get a chance.

4. What surprised you about Ukraine?

We weren't expecting to step off the train onto the set of Fiddler on the Roof. It felt like a different planet. Phones, power, and water worked intermittently. Horse-driven carts, oxen, and military vehicles shared the same road. Dogs rode the bus. Sidewalks were cleaned daily. Bathrooms weren't. The best unexpected blessings, however, were the kind, warm-hearted, interesting people we met. We became acquainted with people on the train, at the orphanage, in the neighborhood where we stayed, at the market, at court, etc. We elected to stay with a family rather than in a hotel or flat, and they treated us like visiting royalty. We were reassured that happiness and goodness are completely unrelated to the amount of worldly goods and conveniences one might have. We were also surprised to find ourselves unable to blend in - no matter how hard we tried, and we were pleasantly amused that everyone seemed happy to see us.

5. Any other comments /advice?

Determine in your mind before you go to enjoy this life-changing, unique experience, however much you find yourself outside your comfort zone.

(Check later for updates from families just returned!)

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